My apologies for not posting in over a month! I have a lot left in my drafts and will hopefully edit them this week and post it. However I have my first guest blogger! Suhas aka Boi! He s my friend since high school and is endowed with the knack of ' annoying the crap out of me'.
Our fights and arguments is considered legendary amongst our friends. We also had an argument about who gets married first. Suhas was very sure that I would attend his wedding with my husband and two kids. Turns out he's getting closer to being married than I am. So here's the account of his entry into the marriage market:
I am on the marriage market- Thanks to my parents:
My start to a very debatable topic that has plagued a gazillion people the world over and especially where I live : India.
The land of the strange for people from foreign lands, the land with a million gods and a million more stories and the land from which some guy wrote the best sex manual ever. Everything changes and similarly things started changing over here too. Freedom of expression got a new meaning at base level and it was respected save a few things and amongst those few are the parents right over their kids.
Parents are the self elected righteous decision making adjudicators in their kid’s lives and all hell breaks loose when they come of age i.e during the time of their marriage and oh boy it was a catastrophe when my turn came in.
Being a 25 year old guy from a respectable family, I got my hands full if being a doctor wasn’t enough. I got it going pretty decent me being from clan bearing the ‘y’ chromosome. Parents allow their kids freedom in every aspects saying that they respect their opinions, their wills and wishes, but when it comes to choosing our life partners, the entire dynamics change and we are apparently the biggest retards that ever existed. Here is how my story went:
I work in hospital 40 miles away from my home and I generally come home on weekends. Its usually a sort of a get away for me after a long hard week having to deal with patients and 1 weekend was no different-or so I thought.
I come home and after giving my folks a montage about my week’s mortality rate I generally end up playing on my desktop. I was acing counterstrike playing as a counter terrorist with a sniper. I was on a roll…raking up kills one after the other. I noticed my parents walk into the living room exactly the way predators stalk their pray. I made a mental note of their presence through the corner of my eyes, but ignored them and happily went on my killing spree with accurate head shots. My dad curiously came and saw what I was playing and after a bit of 'tsk tsk,' went back to take his place on the sofa…
Next 10 mins ensued in total silence when I got the 1st drift that something was up but did not acknowledge it. My mother broke the silence saying ‘Suhas’. Ok now I knew something was definitely up since my parents never called me by my name. I am usually called by a load of nicknames in my household since childhood. So there was a first, but I was still oblivious to it as I was completely engrossed in killing terrorists playing against a bunch of dudes from Hungary.
“Suhas, turn off the PC. We need to talk to you”
“Sure mom go ahead and talk. I’m listening” Bam bam boom.
“Its important”
“Yes I’m sure it is, talk…I’m listening” I said going in for record kills
“We’re planning on getting you married”
KABOOM…! I got a headshot and got the shock of my life as I watched my virtual blood splatter all over the monitor.
I was literally like What The FUCK…!
Dad glared at me and said “Watch the profanity boy.”
I was dumbstruck. I could feel the floor disappear from beneath my feet and getting the wind knocked out of my lungs at the same time. Suddenly I had this mental note about a piece of A4 paper going through a paper shredder.
After taking in the punch, I rebounded back:
“Dad. What the hell is wrong with you people..?... Im not getting married so soon”
“Not soon my dear son. After you complete your course.”
“But that’s like in a year, Im not getting married until I am at least 30 years”
Woah..! the incredulous look that my mom gave when I said 30 years was so memorable. She looked as though I had asked her for both her kidneys.
That's when it all started. My parents launched a psychological warfare with no holds barred. They started off saying that it was a matter of responsibility for them, and they had to start looking for a girl now in case they had to zero in on a girl by the end of a year….seriously..???( I had this vivid visualization of my parents walking among a crowded street trading brides-to-be in a slave market types)
Then they started out stating the pros of getting married early on how you can have a kid early and be done with responsibilities early in my life and exactly 55 years 8 months 2 days 10 hrs later they had finished theirs and majority of what I heard was just blah blah blah and blah blah….
O.K First of all. I don’t wanna handle a repulsive kid so early in my life. Secondly I don’t want have the responsibility of getting married and upholding it so early in my life. Third, I got a lot of agendas with a lot of unfinished business in my life and getting married wasn’t one of them. Hell, even the thought of it made me squirm and made me feel like drowning myself in a glass of water.
Further on they started asking me what type of a girl I wanted assuming that I had consented to their proposal-- Like whether I wanted a working woman or a home-maker and a whole lot of other questions based on complexion, height and educational qualifications (gee guys..looks like somebody still makes em like they used to)
After A whole lot of arguing, huffing and puffing, the argument ended up in a stalemate where no consensus was reached. But 1 thing was for sure, things have escalated to a whole new level and I have to be on my guard and have to plan on contingencies ASAP. And the fight still goes on.
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